Hi, I'm Stephy & I suffer from depression & anxiety.
But.......things have been going really well for quite a while, & I realized that I haven't written or talked about it much & I want to.
Well, I don't really want to, but I feel like I need to. I feel so strongly that it shouldn't be ignored, silenced, or shamed.
A lot of really amazing people suffer from some sort of mental illness, but they are still AMAZING people.
Depression is a big, scary, dark monster but IT DOES NOT DEFINE ME. I am a strong, courageous, fun woman and the same goes for YOU! Whether you suffer from depression or something different, you need to KNOW that it doesn't define you.
But the thing is -- when you are in the depths of the darkness you can't see that. You can't find the amazing true person that you are & even worse, you may not even believe when loved ones tell you that you are. You listen to that dark, evil voice inside your head because it's always there & screaming at you louder than anything.
Depression is so lonely. I know, because I have been there & felt it. It didn't matter that friends and family would offer to help me, or tell me that I wasn't alone -- I just knew they couldn't possibly understand, so I was all alone.
I had decided that no one could help me, so I stopped talking about it. I faked it. Every. Single. Day. I pretended that I was 100% ok and happy. I had gotten tired of people saying things like, "you have a big house, amazing husband, 3 beautiful kids, you have NOTHING to be depressed about."
The thing is, they weren't saying that to be rude. They were trying to help me feel better, but it did the opposite. I was aware of all the good things in my life, yet I couldn't make myself feel better. Then I would spiral & get worse because the nasty voice in my head fed off of that.
So, I would shut my mouth & try to hide the darkness from within my eyes & show up happily to everything.
I didn't feel like I was lying to people, I just had decided this would be easier for THEM. I was already such a burden & I wanted to make their lives easier. Wouldn't it just be easier if they thought I had 'gotten over' my depression? I don't want to make people uncomfortable...
Have you experienced that? Or anything similar?
I'm here to say, STOP IT!!!!!
Your feelings are real.
You are not a burden.
You deserve to feel BETTER!!!!
We all have hard times & struggles, but life is meant to be enjoyed. If everyday feels dark, gloomy, and full of despair that is not living!
Talk about it. Don't hide behind sad eyes. Find someone, even just 1 person, and open up. Tell them everything, because you don't have to suffer alone in silence.
People will say the wrong things. They may not know HOW to help you, but they will try if you let them.
I promise that life can get better. I'm not just saying that; I have been on the verge of hospitalization because things were so bad, and I truly am out of the darkness now.
I am happy & thriving. So much so that it occurred to me today that some of my newer friends & followers might not even know I am a depression warrior.
So here I am, writing about the darkness. I'm here to tell you to learn from my mistakes, don't hide it. It won't get better that way. Keep 'faking happy' until you can really get there, because our attitude REALLY does matter, but don't fake it by hiding what's really going on. Open up, talk to someone, & FIGHT THE DARKNESS. If you don't have anyone, reach out to me -- even if we don't know each other. Reach out to me. I want to help you.
When I became a coach it saved me from my depression & I PROMISED myself I would always do all I could to help save anyone who would let me. I decided to be a Happiness Coach, not just a health coach because happiness is possible for everyone & its the only way to be all the way healthy.
You aren't alone.
I'm a carb eater, jesus lover, stay at home mommy, faithful wife, depression survivor, lifestyle coach, & make up fanatic.